Part five of Barriers to Your Ideal Life:
This is part four of a series. You can read Part One here , Part Two here
In the last few blogs I’ve written about the ways we subconsciously build or uphold barriers to living our Ideal Lives.
My list (so far) of perspectives and mindsets that keep us away from our ideal includes:
All or nothing thinking
Misperception of cost (time/money)
Fatigue and burnout
It's not for me (worthiness)
Mess/space constraints
Outcome oriented
Perceived payoff doesn't outweigh the perceived effort to begin
Delayed until...
Other people's dreams
Woundings/trauma
Unclear values
Reading through this list afresh after a week away from it, it strikes me as wild that people do the things they deeply desire at all! It takes bravery to get started and so much courage to keep going. But that of course is the power of the positive pull. I suppose Simon Sinek would call it your "Why" but the strength of your dream can pull you towards it in amazing ways in spite of all the ways our psyches and world's systems love to enforce the status quo.
So wherever you are on the journey in the pursuit of your dreams, I salute you. You are incredible. Keep going.
Now, down to business- teasing out the crafty ways we wiggle out of going after those big dreams.
Mess and Space Constraints
Today I'm starting with mess and space constraints. This can feel like a real barrier to certain dreams because mess and space are so freaking tangible. It can feel like reality that you don't have enough space for your own kiln in your studio apartment. (Yes, perhaps objectively true.)
Some of you might feel you are waiting to do your art or your therapy practice or your farm until you have exactly the right space. Or you don't begin because you can't bear getting everything out on the dining room table and then having to pack up again before the next meal. (Tbh that does sound annoying.)
But the excuse of not enough space or your work is too messy is just a protective mechanism to keep you from doing the thing. It is confronting to begin anyway and begin with less than ideal conditions and begin without all the gadgets and tools. It is confronting to find a way to feel safe and then do the scary thing.
I've been stuck in this phase for a little while. I want to paint more, if not daily, and by happenstance found a little wooden table with turned legs and a drawer for 18 dollars outside the chicken vendor's kiosk. I've sanded it and while it could use some putty and wax it's fine as is. I put some painting supplies on it. And there they sit, some six weeks later. I'm already telling myself that it's not big enough and I should have a rolling cart next to it etc.
Meanwhile it's become just another kid stuff collection surface. It's not a studio. It does not have space for anything larger than A5 really. But the lesson for me (and perhaps you) here is that it's ok to start with what you have.
One of my rules for living, in fact, is "just start planting." While yes I do apply that to actual gardens I also use the rule to apply to relationships, ideas and creative expression, and goals. Another one of my rules is "you already have everything you need." If I hew to my own rules, then, I've got what I need and can just get to work.
I dont want to derail the focus today but I also am congratulating myself for the small actions that got me here. I bought the table. I set it up. I signed up for my friend's watercolor course on domestika. These impulses are beautiful and worthy of celebration in a world where we tend to only value the output and the outcome. These tiny steps and responses to impulse have been integral parts of my process, and for that they deserve acknowledgement. Here's a post about impulses if the concept is new to you.
So today you will find me working on my business, in the gym (hoorayyyyy! I bought new shoes while I was in Peru in April and they need to be trotted out!) and writing longhand my book on Ritual + Reward plus a few minutes on a memoir if I'm feeling it. And maybe, just maybe I will also take my paints out.
Regardless, I'm going to clear off the kid detritus and put a water jar and my brushes out too. It's time to heed the impulses and start planting, one tiny step at a time.
what impulses can you celebrate today, even if you haven't yet Done The Thing? Comment below and tell me!
with love,
L